I just want to let the powers that be who run the world to know:
I would be happy to be the next Pope. I'm not a priest. I'm not even Catholic. But I'd be happy to do it if they need somebody.
If any governor finds an opening for the Senate that needs to be filled, they can appoint me. I'd be happy to do it. There would be a new meaning to the word fillibuster if I was a senator.
Talk show hosts: If the netowrks need someone to take over any of their talk shows, get someone else. I don't want to do it.
If any movie producers are looking for somebody to write a movie script about The Frito Bandito versus the Green Hornet, I'd be happy to do that.
If any of the award shows want a host, get somebody else. I'm not really interested.
If any country needs some guy to fly into space for their space program, I'd love to go. Hear that, Iran? Any country at all. Just let me know.
If any university wants some guy to take a million bucks and see how long it takes to spend it at Taco Bell, I'd be happy to help them out as long as they have a grant or something and are supplying the money.
If any of the super rich people don't have any heirs, I just wanted them to know they can leave their money to me. I'd be happy to take it.
If any movie producers want to hire some guy with no acting experience to star in their latest big budget movie, I'd be happy to do that. Especially if it's got flying saucers in it.
Thank you very much.