We hope you are feeling better. Those of us at the Blackmail Division of Medicare want you to know that every dollar we extort from you will go to reducing the national debt.
You were hospitalized for having a STD of a particularly disgusting nature. Do you want the fellow residents at Wonderyears Retirement Home to know where you’ve been sticking your dick? Do you want us to send pictures of what the rash you had looks like, you disgusting little man? Not to worry. If you send a check for $475 within thirty days, along with the enclosed form MD c12, your neighbors will never hear about it from us.
Melvin P. Cruddy
Medicare Blackmail Division
This program is part of the new Deficit Reduction Plan passed by your Congress. Your Congress, it’s just incredible what we do.