Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving, I Guess, Sort Of

"Happy Thanksgiving" is what I hear if I buy a candy bar or a quart of milk from any store.  The blasted holiday seems to run for the entire week.  You can't get a medical appointment.  The blasted grocery store already has empty shelves.  I'm starting to get in humbug mood and it is only Tuesday. And so-called Black Friday has been raging all week long as well.  At least people don't put up Thanksgiving lights on their houses--yet.  I'm kind of starting to dislike this holiday.

What am I thankful for?  Redheads.  I have a thing for redheads.  And that's about it.  And dogs. I like dogs.  And my house. I'm thankful I have a roof over my head. Living in your car sucks.  And my refrigerator. I really love my new refrigerator.  And that's about it.  I don't have a problem with people being thankful. But that's not what the stupid holiday has become. It's become an excuse for gluttony and drunkenness and football.

An amazing number of people will burn their houses down as they attempt to deep fry their turkeys. It's around 20 houses on average that burn to the ground each year.  Let's not forget that. 

There is one good thing about T Day. If you see your relatives, your get it over with. If you see them on T-Day you're not obligated to get together on Christmas. And that's something to be thankful for. A lot of people don't understand the T-Day exception to going to see relatives for Christmas. Hell of a deal.

Oh, my turkeys are the best in the world. No one cooks turkeys better than I do. Mesquite grill. Keep the   damned stuffing out of the bird and they'll cook much better.  The turkey I cook will be wonderful.

By the way, let the dog have a little bit of turkey.  They work hard all year keeping you from being murdered in your sleep. Give them a slice of turkey.

Please don't wish me a happy thanksgiving.  And that's about it.


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