Sunday, February 4, 2018

Technology

If I write a story sometime, I'm thinking along these lines...

Alexa, find me a prostitute.  I want a pretty one, not one like the last time.
Veronica will be by at 7 pm.
Not her again. Get me a redhead.
April will be by at 7 pm. She only takes cash.

Alexa, did the guy the dog bit pull through?
No. He died yesterday. His family has hired a lawyer to sue you. Do you want me to send flowers to the funeral?
Uh, no.

Alexa, call work and tell them there is a bomb in the building.
Can't you just call in sick?
I'm running late. This way they won't notice.
I told them they'll all die and the bomb will go off in ten minutes.

Alexa, where are my car keys?
They're in your pocket where they always are.

Alexa, cancel Mike's credit cards.
Which Mike? Your boss or your brother?
Just do both of them.

Oh, almost forgot, Alexa cancel Gwen's honeymoon reservations in Jamaica.
Gwen your ex-girlfriend or Gwen the waitress you're hot for at the diner?
Gwen my ex-girlfriend. How do you know about Gwen at the diner?
You talk in your sleep.

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