Friday, July 6, 2018

The British Romance Story Oh My!

So, waiting around for repair crews with my water leak, I watched a whole nother genre that I don't completely understand.  I think I stumbled onto the British romance novel [dramatized].

Okay, here goes.  I think all of these are exactly the same story they just have different titles.

This old coot kicks the bucket. Supposedly he can only leave all of his money to the eldest son. The wife and three daughters are screwed.  Junior says he'll share, but then decides I'll keep it all. But somehow, the wife still has a little money so they downsize from the mansion to this little cottage .

Well, you have the 19 year old sister who's an old maid.  This dude Ed loves her but there's something wrong and he stops coming by.  All the guys in the area want to marry the 17 year old pretty sister.  The prime contender is a total cad who makes a career out of seducing young ladies. The other suitor is a perfectly nice gentleman, but he's ugh 35 year old retired colonel.

So, various things go. The pretty sister eventually decides to marry the colonel anyway even though they didn't have Viagra back then.  And the 19 year old discovers that Ed was promised to another, but she dumped him for some dude with more money and he didn't think she wanted him anymore but the silly girl still loves him. So they get married.  And the colonel even rides around on a white horse.

The novel [undramatized version] probably has so much more detail that I would likely  jump out of a window and kill myself.  But, the televised show, I got strangely into. Oh, the 17 year old sister is lost out in a storm. What will happen to her? That sort of thing.

So, we come to the end and the two girls are married off.  But wait!  There's a serious flaw in this story.  Obviously, if they married off the 10 year old sister, that would be creepy.  But what happens to mom? She's pushing 40, she's very nice and quite attractive.  She doesn't seem to get a new husband.  And it's obvious a woman can only be happy if she finds a husband so I guess mom is doomed. Nothing is ever said about mom.  So, I'll finish it for them.

I was thinking she was very fine lady and I'd certainly call on her.  Of course she'd have to reject the eccentric writer down the road as he doesn't have enough money.  Then on the last page Queen Victoria knights him for his brilliant new romance novel with space aliens. Since he's knighted, of course mom will marry Sir David and everyone lives happily ever after.

I don't think I'm the target demographic in these stories.  Still, watching this movie was oddly compelling.

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