Monday, May 21, 2012


Yesterday, we had an eclipse. Eclipses are pretty cool, as astronomical events go. I remember back in the old days, I was in the sixth grade and we had a partial one. That would’ve been back in, oh never mind. Anyway, the teachers were all worried we’d fry our eyeballs out and they told us how to make pinhole covers. Well, pinhole covers suck. They don’t work worth a crap. Nowadays, they sell eclipse glasses, but the drugstore ran out before I got around to going to get mine. And, it would be nice if the government would wheel out their solar telescopes so people could look. That ain’t gonna happen. We’re on our own when it comes to eclipses.  That's why lunar eclipses are safer--they're at night.

Speaking of astronomy, I remember I got a telescope when I was a kid for Christmas, around third grade or so.  It didn't work. It was defective. The year before, I'd been given a toy printing press so I could publish my own newsletter. It didn't work either.  They both came from a large retailer and their name is five letters long that starts with an S and end with an S. To this day, I don't like them. They ruined my Christmas, twice. What's this got to do with the eclipse? They were advertising a telescope and it supposedly had a lens for eclipse viewing. I wanted it real bad, but I didn't buy it. I just couldn't.

Oh, the government scopes comment? The government devotes a lot of resources watching the sun. They're terrified a solar flare might shoot out and destroy the Earth. But, do they wheel the telescopes out and let people look at the sun? Hell no. I mean, some colleges did, but not the man. The man doesn't want us to know how scared of the sun they are.

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