Sunday, September 23, 2012

The Tired Family

The Tired Family


Sam Tired The dad, who works as a plumber

Lois Tired: The wife and mother. She works at home taking suicide prevention calls.

Larry Tired: Age 8. The son.

Scene 1

(After a father and son outing, Sam and Larry are on their way home in the family car.)

Sam: That was kind of fun.

Larry: Yeah. Too bad that horse threw the jockey in the fifth. You’d have won the daily double.

Sam: Don’t remind me. You did okay.

Larry: Hundred bucks.

(They pass a new sign by the road. It reads Try Butt Sex)

Larry: Dad, what’s butt sex?

Sam: Uh, that’s when a man sticks his pecker in another man’s butt.

Larry: Why would they do that?

Sam: Uh, I don’t know. Ask your mother.


Scene 2

(Sam is brushing his teeth, getting ready for bed.)

Lois: Sweetie, did you take Sam to the racetrack today?

Sam: Uh, yeah. He did pretty good.

Lois: Do you think that’s what he should be learning? Gambling?

Sam: People gamble. It goes back thousands of years. He might as well learn that now.

Lois: You think so, do you? He asked me something a little while ago. He wanted to know about butt sex.

Sam: Well, kids are curious.

Lois: Where did he hear about butt sex?

Sam: From some sign by the road. 

Lois: He’s your son.

Sam: Well, it was either ask you or ask the older boys at school. I’m sure some of them would give him a demonstration.

Lois: So, today he learned about butt sex and gambling. What do you have planned for tomorrow?

Sam: If he knows about butt sex and gambling, my work as his father is done.

(Sam unfolds a blanket on the living room couch. Then tosses some pillows down. Sam lies down and covers up)

Sam: Boy, do I love this couch.

To be continued

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