Thursday, December 6, 2012


For the past few months I’ve been getting pitch after pitch wanting me to read this story or that book. There have been so many I’ve lost count. I get these pitches because I’m a member of the HWA and the HWA hands out the Stoker Awards. The process is complicated, but there’s a nomination process and a voting process. The thing is, and I hate to say it, but most of these people pitching me to read their books are delusional. They have absolutely no chance in hell of winning a Stoker or any other literary award.

Now, I’d like to have a Stoker. Wouldn’t mind a Pulitzer or a Nobel Prize, either. But, at least I have sense enough to know it’s not going to happen. However, all this thinking about awards has convinced me what is needed is a weird western award. The thing is, I have to figure out the details. But a weird western is never going to win a horror award or a science fiction award because they depart too far from the statistical mean, if that makes any sense. They’re too damn offbeat to win a mainstream award. There’s a lot of details of what to call it and what kind of prize to give out. I was thinking of calling it the Haakon, short for Haakon Jones, the primary character of the late Aaron B. Larson. We could give people a certificate run off on my home computer and a five dollar McDonald’s gift certificate. Then people could call themselves an award winning writer.

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