Sunday, December 30, 2012

It's me, Karl. Happy New Year

Hi, it's me, Karl. I'm guest blogging today.

I love the holidays. I especially like all the pretty lights they put up. One of the strangest traditions I still don’t get is the fruitcakes. People get them, then almost immediately pawn them off on someone else. I think fruit cake is simply wonderful. I wish those people would send them all to me if they don’t want them. We didn’t have anything nearly this good back in the cretaceous–nothing even close. Of course, we didn’t have stoves to cook things on. They hadn’t been invented yet. If I’d had something like fruitcake, the dinosaurs would’ve been lined up for blocks to buy them. Of course, dinosaurs didn’t have money back then because that hadn’t been invented either.

Dave, who I’m filling in for, sometimes makes a most wonderful fruitcake. It’s steamed, the way God intended [That’s what he says]. He says they’re the best in the world. I know they’re awfully good. He says his mother used to buy fruitcake from some place in Texas, then decided Dave’s fruitcake was better. The problem, as I see it, is Dave doesn’t make enough of them. I should go to that place in Texas. I’ll bet I could eat all of the ones they have.

Another tradition I don’t really understand is the Jewish Hanukkah. It sees like a lot of bother to get everyone together and light all the candles, then everybody just runs off and leaves. That’s what happened. I was out looking at Christmas lights and I looked in these people’s window and they all suddenly ran away. Not much of a celebration, if you ask me.

Well, Happy New Year. Until next time...

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