Well, I see the Catholic Church passed over me again to hire Pope Frank. That's okay. But, I still would've liked having the job. I've often wondered where the pope gets those cool hats. I could get me one of those pope hats and a big cross and go around blessing people. I'm actually an ordained minister. I don't often mention it, but I once sent a money order to this church in Modesto and they sent me back my ordination certificate. I've actually offered to marry people and they always decline for some reason.
Anyway, so I wish Frank well and maybe he'll come by America sometime and we can play chess.
I don't know if the pope plays chess or not. I am under the impression the Dali Lama plays chess. I'd love to play chess with the Dalai Lama.
Oh, I've got this idea for a TV show. The pope has a secret lair underneath the Vatican. At night he hunts down vampires in a specially equipped limosine with a Benedictine monk for a sidekick.