Monday, June 24, 2013

Family Planning, A Short Play


HAL: A single father

KEVIN: A teenage son

[We are at the family home. HAL is trying to read the afternoon paper. KEVIN has a tablet computer set up on a nearby table]


KEVIN: Dad, where are going this year?

HAL: Going? Could you be more specific?

KEVIN: Vacation? Where are we going on vacation? Larry’s folks are taking him to Europe.

HAL: And you want to go to Europe, I take it?

KEVIN: Heck no. They’ve got a new water park in Iowa. It has a mile long slide.

HAL: Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. After years of unsuccessful family outings, I think we should simply stay home. It'll be better this way.

KEVIN: No! They’ve got a new roller coaster in Texas.

HAL: Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. What you are proposing is simply incompatible with the objectives of this family. I simply want to relax on tropical beaches where I can be served colorful beverages by scantily clad women in grass skirts. You, on the other hand, are solely interested in the latest thrill ride. And your sister, well she basically just wants to go someplace where she can run around naked. I submit that these concepts are incompatible.

KEVIN: I’ll find us a place.

HAL: Have at it, bucko. Though I remain skeptical.

KEVIN: [Fiddles around with the tablet computer for about a minute] Dad, I’ve got it. I found us a place. Give me your credit card and I’ll book it.

HAL: Not so fast young buckaroo. Where is this utopia you’ve found for us?

KEVIN: It’s called Coaster World. It looks awesome.

HAL: [Turns page of his newspaper.] What wonderful news.

KEVIN: Can I have your credit card then?

HAL: I think it’s in my other wallet.

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