The reality challenged have always insisted there's some secret army in black helicopters operated by the UN that flies around the country spying on people like them. I have remained a bit skeptical of this. Our own government has plenty of helicopters and they're used for legitimate transportation needs for the National Guard and Army. And, where I live, military aircraft are rare as there simply aren't any military bases in these parts.
Well, yesterday, I went out to my car. There was a black helicopter hovering overheard. Okay, it's probably something with the local college or high school which are both just a few blocks away. So, I drove off to the grocery store. I was having trouble finding somewhere to park, so I abruptly turned around and looked up. There were two black helicopters right above me. Then I went and had a sandwich. When I came out of the restaurant there were no helicopters, but I now found myself looking up a lot even though I don't believe I' m really important enough for the government to bother to spy on. No helicopters.
I went back to the grocery store. I wasn't in there long. When I came back out there were no helicopters. I thought my paranoia was ridiculous. Then I headed for home. I pulled over abruptly and got out of my car. Right above me was a black helicopter. I was amazed at how quiet it was. I got back in my car and continued on. I went home and unloaded my groceries. That took all of two minutes. I went back outside and took off in my car. I dove a few mile then pulled into a gas station. As I got out, I noticed a black helicopter in the sky. This is weird, I kept thinking. I went back home and kept looking out my window. I saw no helicopters. After a half hour of paranoia, I headed out to take some garbage out to the dumpster. There was nothing in the sky. As I headed back inside, I noticed a helicopter flying by. I went back inside and did not come back out or look outside anymore that day.
One thing about being paranoid is it does make you feel important.