Friday, November 15, 2013

Super powers?

I was having a conservation with some people last week. The topic drifted to: If you could have a super power, what would it be? Ideas bounced around like invisibility, the ability to fly and being able to travel through time. All have their advantages, to be sure. Then my turn came up. I wanted to the ability to make people crap on command. Everyone stared at me in disbelief.

I don’t think they see the power here. If someone’s trying to rob you, zap. As they suddenly crap their pants, they’ll be so distracted you can run away and they will not chase you with their underpants filled with piping hot poop.

Likewise, if a politician you don’t like is about to give a major keynote speech, zap just as he gets started. Or, on a smaller scale, if you didn’t like your boss and everyone sits down for a meeting, zap. It just seems like an amazing power to have and I wish I had it.

When I was about 4 or 5, I went through a phase when I was pooping my pants, to my mother’s dismay. That is not the same thing. I got over that.

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