One thing I always thought I should do was get dressed up like Santa Claus and wander around on Christmas eve muttering "Damned blasted reindeer took off and left me. I ain't Fu*!@in walkin' back to the North Pole." Alas, I've never actually done it--figuring it probably wouldn't go as well as the original concept. Still, it's no stranger than anything else about Santa. If I sat in a chair and asked girls I don't even know to sit on my lap, well it just doesn't go over that well. Put on some red suit and they hop right up. Face it, Santa Claus is a bizarre individual. So, stranded Santa isn't any stranger than anything else with this guy. So, if I ever do this, these are the lines I was thinking about.
"Hey buddy, can you take me to the North Pole? Yeah I'm fu*in serious. Should've given you a lump of coal when you were six instead of that damned bicycle." [taxi drivers only]
"Hey lady, can I sleep on your couch tonight? Fu*in reindeer stranded me. Hell, I been watching you sleep for years."
"Well, thanks for the milk and cookies, but I'm lactose intolerant and what I really need are the keys to your car."
"Hey kid, Santa's not really sleeping in your yard. It's all a dream."