Sunday, August 30, 2015


I got a haircut yesterday.  They're one of those things that can only be put off for so long.  From time to time friends and coworkers have mentioned they needed to get a haircut.  I often offer to cut it for them--but always warn them that I've never actually done a human, but the dogs I've given haircuts to seemed to like theirs.  Alas, their owners didn't feel that way.  So the dog has a bald patch.  The dog doesn't really care. So it's a little lopsided, the dog can limp for a few days and no one will notice. Dogs don't expect perfection.  Boy their owners sure do.  

My first dog cut was my parents golden retriever.  It was an extremely hot day and I got some scissors and "How'd you like to get rid of some of that hair for the summer?"  Okay, I'm hot all the time, the dog agreed.  Well, technically, he didn't look too good when he was done.  And my mom came home from somewhere and was furious.  But my customer was delighted.  He seemed much cooler and liked the short-haired version of a golden retriever.  Did I mention mom was furious?

Well, over time I did a few more dog cuts and my technique improved quire a bit. I never got one single complaint from any dog I gave a haircut to.  And that's all I can say.  100% customer satisfaction.  I would never take up dog grooming. No way in hell. The dogs are easy enough to please, but people sure are picky.

And no one's ever taken me up on my offer. I still haven't done a human. 

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