Thursday, March 30, 2017

Fresh fresh

I note mighty McDonald's has announced the 1/4 pounder will soon be made of fresh beef, instead of frozen.  Back in the day, McDonald's had really cheap smallish hamburgers and sold a lot of milkshakes.  I liked them a lot more than I do now.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017


Since I bought my house 10 months ago I've planted six trees in the back yard, hopefully reducing heat by providing shade.  Problem is the blasted mule deer keep trying to eat my trees. Our local HOA frowns on fenced yards. How can your neighbors keep up with what you're doing if you have a fence? I tried this coyote urine product. That did no good whatsoever.  I'm going to the stores to see what else they've got.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Elevator Farting

Yesterday's posting raises the question: Why would someone do something as stupid as farting in elevators.  In my case I started doing it in San Francisco when I was in high school.  My friends and I would take BART across the bay and wander around the city. And we started riding elevators in the tall buildings.  Well, I'm not sure how the farting started, but  it did. we refined our technique. To this day I find comfort in farting in elevators. Hate me if you must, but it's that kind of guy I am.

Sunday, March 26, 2017


I’ve talked before about farting in elevators and some do’s and don’t’s.  Well, when I was recently on jury duty I got so bored all I could think of was lunch break.  As soon as the bailiff released us I went to the top floor.  They had like six elevators, no waiting.

Now the key to elevator farting is you cut one at the end of the line when there’s no one else inside.  Then you step out and send the elevator to the far end of the building. So this was going from the 10th floor down ot the ground.  I cut one and sent it away. I knew the lower floors had full elevator cars.  So people would pack in and start wondering who amongst them had farted, not realizing it had come from an unseen enemy on an unseen floor. 

This lept me amused until it was time to back to the courtroom to be told I would not be needed.

Saturday, March 25, 2017


A year ago I still lived in the mountains of Colorado and it was still snowing. Hah! Now I'm in sunny Tucson. That said, I don't know why people garden. If it's for food, a lot of the stuff  we grow can be had cheaper at the grocery story. But there's just something about ruining you clothes and getting dirt in your hair that people can't resist. I've planted trees this spring--not technically a garden. The west side of my house had no shade.  Six trees, two lemon and four ash, and in a few years I may have some serious shade.

But my father just planted tomatoes. He can't wait for vine ripened tomatoes. 

And my brother and his wife, well you can't hardly get into their yard they've got so much stuff growing.

As for me, I stuck with trees because I'm not allowed to have fencing [It's one of our rules]. We've got jackrabbits and mule deer running around looking for gardens to destroy.  So I decided I'd get beans and onions from the store because these horrible mule deer eat darn near everything.

And if you grow strawberries I'll be right over.

Friday, March 24, 2017

It's All My Dad's Fault

A lot of the things that our economy is struggling with are my dad's fault.  Pensions, funding Medicare, lack of housing--these are all my dad's fault. And he freely admits it.  As he was growing up, most men lived into their late fifties or early sixties.  That was it. Then they keeled over and died. This meant pensions only had to cover a few years of payouts.  Yet, there he sits drawing Social Security, drawing a pension, getting his medical bills covered by Medicare and even taking up a house that could be used to house a family just starting out.

All this because he will not die.  He readily admits if he'd die then the strain his generation is causing will go away.  Back in his day doctors didn't worry much about cholesterol, men smoked a lot, and  men dropped dead right where pensions and the government wanted them to.  

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Hot Dog

Ever try and find a hot dog in the grocery store?  I don't like many of the hot dogs that are readily available.  In fact, Boar's Head and Trader Joe's are the only two hot dogs I like.  I'm sure some ball parks and maybe even a few restaurants have decent dogs, but I don't often go to those places.  Costco puts out  hot dog that's edible, but not remarkable.   

Why is that?

I have no idea.

I always thought it would be fun to get the rights to Soylent.  They're the company that, at least in a science fiction movie, make food out of dead people.  I don't want to make food out of dead people, I just wonder if folks would buy something branded Soylent.  I don't think the milennials know what Soylent means. 

Apparently, there is some company marketing some sort of drink under the soylent name.  It's hot dogs, that need to be made out of people.  Well, I mean branded that way. They taste they already are.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Today is today

Not much going on today.  They take our trash away today and I have to much, thanks to a lot of gardening this past week.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Wind wind go away

It's been really windy for some reason. I don't like wind.  I find it the most annoying of weather demons. Without wind ran and even snow aren't all that bad--add wind to the mix and it's unbearable. On its own it is still unpleasant.  I bought two trees a couple of days ago. They took some damage as they got knocked over. I placed them in the yard and was going to plant them the next day.  Then the mule deer came by and tried to eat them.  Poor trees probably wish they were still at the nursery.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Bier in March...Humbug

St Patrick's Day is one of those holidays that they could have simply not bothered with.  Blasphemy for somebody with an Irish name? Perhaps.  Most scholars don't think the guy even existed.  It's not a day off of work holiday.  Chicago dies its river green for a few hours.  It's mainly just an excuse to get drunk.  When Bonded Agent came out, I tried to get some home brewer to make some Martian Red Ale.  No one would do it.  

Mint shakes at some fast food places. And that corned beef and cabbage.  They can keep that, thank you.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Steps to the Future

When I was little I used to watch something called Rocky Jones, Space Ranger.  This guy and friends kept flying around saving worlds that seemed to always want to run into each other.  I guess he must've done some other things.  Well, it seems this show was syndicated starting in the 1950s and has more or less long faded off to obscurity. That's even older than me. But it was on when I was little and I watched it.  It was a harmless enough show with fairly high production values for its day.  I watched an episode off my Amazon Prime yesterday.  I doubt I'll watch any more.  What worked for a kid doesn't always work for a geezer.  They flew in a tall rocket. It had steps on the side.  All I could think about was having to keep climbing up and down those steps. Somehow, climbing steps gets less and less appealing as I get older.  

At least Star Trek didn't have steps?  Guess again. At least Next Generation did. They were Jefferies Tubes and were  used by Scottie and Spock in the original and a few times in Voyager as well. I'll stay on Earth and apply for my handicapped parking permit.  They can keep their stairs in the future. 

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Yer ...

I was sitting in McDonald's the other day.  Iced tea is only a buck right now and I was having some.  I guess they don't have much office space at these places.  All I know is three manager types were meeting with some guy. At first I thought it was an interview.  It wasn't.  As I struggled to pretend I wasn't paying any attention, it became obvious he was getting fired.  Some type of complaint had been lodged against him by a customer.  It's a shame they have to do that sort of thing out in public like that.  

Friday, March 10, 2017


Got my tax refund in just over 2 weeks.  Way to go IRS.

Had Dinner

Had Dinner downtown with some other writers and people interested in HWA.  Nice, pleasant evening. Folks are in town for he Book Festival the University puts on.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Death & Taxes

I had a discussion about taxes recently.  I argued it didn't matter.  The people get screwed and that's that. Furthermore, if the feds cut too much, then the states have to fund road improvements and indigent care so gas taxes or sales taxed must go up.  So, the result is it simply comes out of a different pocket.  So go forth to a taco truck and have some food. It just doesn't matter.

The Donald is not going to fly Air Force One out to Area 51 to see the parked flying saucers.  So, I don't really care about what else he does.  Oprah is gonna run for president and I doubt she'll go out to Area 51 either.  I didn't have the guts to cross the line and get shot.  However, I doubt they would've shown me the flying saucers.  

By the way, the government could really cut the deficit if they started giving Area 51 tours and charge admission. 

Friday, March 3, 2017

Wild Wild West

Saturday & Sunday I'll be at Wild Wild West Con, which is held at Old Tucson.  I only live a stone's throw from there. It's nice to have a con that I don't have to travel for.  I'm participating on a panel on Weird Westerns and then talking about Weird Western books on Sunday.  That's it. The rest of the time I'll just enjoy the con.  Not attending on Friday.  I have not been to this one before.  Should be fun.  I don't do a lot of steampunk cons, but the ones I've gone to I have really enjoyed.