When I was in the fifth grade or so, our teacher gave us some sort of assignment about Columbus.Day. Well, I'd read about this guy--and not just in the sanitized textbooks full of questionable facts provided by the school. And I turned in my little paper about the accomplishments of Christo Columbo. She marked that up even though that was his name. It was not COLUMBUS and his first name was not CHRISTOPHER. A man who was such an inept mariner that he thought he was in India--wrong continent pal.
I went on to point out his own men mutinied and locked him up on his third voyage because he was such an inept commander. Oh, and I also pointed out he never set foot on the mainland of America, North or South. So, how on earth could he be credited with discovering it?
Then I pointed out the Vikings had been to North America 600 years earlier. If anyone had discovered the place, it was Lief Erikson, not Columbo.
Well, there was red ink everywhere. I think I got an F on it. My first F ever. I always got mostly A's in school back then. And I was right. What I had written was the truth. Yet the Donald Trump of his day got a holiday named after him and I got an F. Thing is, I knew I'd be blasted and did it anyway.
Needless to say, Columbo Day is still not my favorite holiday.
I always wondered if he was banging Queen Isabella. I can't think of any other reason why she would have backed this loser. Love is blind, they say.