Saturday, January 6, 2018

Pizza From Outer Space?

Well, yesterday my father decided to order pizza.  More specifically, he wanted me to order it and go get it.  Okay, so I naively agreed to this nefarious plan.  Then he wanted a medium.  I would get a large one, as it costs little more. Nope, it had to be a medium.  He can't stand the thought of there being any leftover pizza.  I love leftover pizza and don't consider it a problem. Dad is terrified there will be a slice of uneaten pizza--he would never eat leftover pizza. 

Then there were the ingredients. He wanted spinach, seriously. You spend roughly $1.25 per topping. They give you five cents worth of spinach.  And he wanted green onions. Same deal. I wanted pineapple--way more expensive than spinach and I wanted to get some pepperoni.  He wanted ham. okay, I could live with ham though I prefer sausage.  We finally negotiated it down to ham, sausage and pepperoni and the damned spinach. He wouldn't budge on the spinach. It's not like he's Popeye  or anything. So, I relented and ordered the spinach.  

Old people.  No  wonder most pizza places in this town are near the university and not near the old folks homes.

So, I went and picked it up, This was a take and bake place Brought it home and cooked it.  And I thought we could've used another slice, but he was so happy it was a medium and there was nothing left over. God forbid there be a left over slice of pizza. 

The moral of this story--don't eat pizza with old people. They're crazy. All of them. Papa Murphy's should lock the door when they see old people approaching.  

Now the back story of this is I met someone and finally got the courage to ask her out. And I asked her out to a pizza place--not a take and bake.  Well, she declined my offer.  Then, coincidentally, I went by my father's house to see if he needed help taking down his Christmas lights. He didn't, but then he wanted to get pizza.  It was like the pizza gods were smiting me for some reason. Instead of eating pizza with a very nice woman I get to have it with some old guy and I can't even have a few slices for the next day and I can't have my pineapple and I'm stuck with spinach.  It was one of the most depressing pizzas I've ever had.

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