Friday, February 9, 2018

Valentines Day Primer

Explain Valentines Day to an alien from Mars.

Well, if you have someone you love, you give that person gifts to demonstrate your affection.

So, this lawn mower on sale at Sears would be given to your mate?

Not exactly. Only certain presents.  Mainly jewelry to females and  men get a card. They might like a new lawnmower, but it's not allowed.   And you have to cook her something or take her to a restaurant.

But Walgreen's has Valentine candy on sale.

Not allowed.  They trick men into giving women candy. It is a bad thing. The females will react badly and claim candy makes her fat.

What about these dead flowers at this store?

Women love dead flowers as long as they're red roses.

So, if a men arrived with a lawn mower and candy, what would happen?

Summary execution.

How unfortunate. This is a baffling custom.

You got that right.

1 comment:

  1. if he showed up with a tractor with my name on the title....