Tuesday, June 19, 2018

In the Event of

With invasion imminent from Canada as war is about to break out I thought I'd pass along some basic information should you find a Maple Leaf flag flying over your local post office anytime soon.

Canada money is called the Loon. It's named after some stupid bird. One thing you'll notice is Canada got rid of their dollar bill. They use a coin, only.

They, the Canadians, use the word eh at the end of every sentence. So, "you got any firearms, eh?" means "Do you have any guns?"

Then there's syrup. They put maple syrup on everything.  Don't be alarmed if they start trying to pout syrup on your Chinese food.  Just go along with it. You don't want to alarm them. Canadians are very violent.

If they ask you, You got a Luter, eh?" I don't know what that means.

Above all else, when Canada invades, stay calm.  Bearded men drinking Molson's and saying eh? are scary. Don't worry about hiding your daughters.  All Canadians are gay.  Your boys, well put them in dresses.

So, enjoy the upcoming Canadian invasion.  Just be careful not to run the anger of the Canadian Secret Police.

Oh, and that old lady on their paper money isn't a loon--it's Queen Elizabeth 2.

Oh, don't buy any Canadian books because there aren't any. Canadians can't read.

Canadian National Anthem
Oh Canada, we suck but not as bad as Trump does...
And I don't remember the rest.

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