Monday, August 27, 2018

Delivering stuff

People are getting lazier as they have everything delivered.  Grub Hub and similar services go beyond simple Domino's and offer the delicacies of nearly every restaurant.  When I was growing up, they didn't deliver nothing--except for furniture.  

The one thing that was delivered was something no one seemed to want.  They had this weekly publication called the Dollar Saver.  It was distributed around Hayward, CA.  I delivered them for a while.  Back then there was a cannery that processed tomatoes at harvest time.  The cannery is long gone–the land now holds a Costco. But my memories remain.

Perhaps the oddest thing was one afternoon I was on the porch delivering a copy and I cut a colossal huge fart. Well, I headed back for the sidewalk and the door opened up. She got her copy and said "They must be cooking up something good." referring to the cannery. Yep, the chili dog I had for lunch. Lady I can come over if you like the smell of my farts and make it a regular thing.

Then there was the guy sitting in his living room. He had no pants on and was sitting in a chair jerking off.  Me, well I'd close the drapes.  You don't forget something like that.

I eventually found other uses for my time than delivering advertising to people's porches. But, think about this:  How many people worldwide are sitting in a chair jerking off at any given moment?

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