Top this buckaroo
Go in for some testicular surgery, to relieve fluid build up. Supposed to be outpatient surgery.
Come out of surgery and start fighting with hospital workers. Self removed IV and breathing tube before the nurse was ready to do it. During the fracas somebody gave me a black eye. No one “Knows” anything at hospital about that.
They admit me cause I’m not breathing right. Put me on oxygen. Anyone ever hear that anaesthesia and surgery can mess up people’s metabolism?
The hospital doctor changes my meds. This drops my blood pressure to that of a zombie corpse on The Walking Dead.. Immediate result, kidney failure and a genetic vulnerability for gout kicks in. My ankle causing me to go screaming if I’m even touched there. Kidney specialist called in [partner of my regular kidney doctor]. He changes meds. Blood pressure goes to normal and starts treating gout.
I’m feeling much better, and am dozing in a chair. I wake up, become confused, and think I’m in someone else’s room. I get out of chair and walk three feet before I realize I’m too weak to walk and go crashing to the floor and can’t get up. Hospital crew lifts me and puts me to bed.
Testicular surgery starts bleeding. Urologist comes in an re-sutures wound.
After 10 days in hospital I am transferred to rehab hospital. Final act at hospital, nurse steals my pen. Rehab hospital is a creepy place at two am. There must be a horror story there somehow. Not supposed to get out of bed, but you press help button and on one ever come to help you. After two hours srart defying rehab hospital and just go to bathroom on own. I’m getting rehab, but not exactly the right kind.
Morning of fourth day I demand to be discharged and go home. I could take it no longer. Vow to get outpatient physical therapy referred by my regular doctor.
What have we learned:?
Nrse practitioners are idiots
anaesthesia can really mess up your body.
Gout is far more painful than anything I’ve encountered, including a broken arm in third grade.