Saturday, January 25, 2020

Who the Hell is Melvin Cruddy ?

I used to work for the concession company that ran the Grand Teton National Park restaurants and hotels.  This was a long time ago. I drove the laundry truck and was later a laundry supervisor.  Amongst other things, they had an option if you didn't want to go to the dining room for lunch, you could get a sandwich at the employee canteen. You had to sign for your meal, since they had to account for employee meals differently than regular sales of candy bars and stuff.  For some inexplicable reason, I started signing Melvin Cruddy on the sheet.  That certainly was not my name.

As I mentioned, I drove the laundry truck. It required gas, which was purchased at the company owned convenience store. You had to sign this voucher sheet for the gas, including a code for what department it was being used by.Well, Melvin Cruddy started signing for gas as well.  The thing was, no one ever seemed to notice.  

I wasn't really defrauding anyone. The gas really was for the laundry truck. The employee meals were really being eaten by an employee. . But blind signatures on some form are rather meaningless records.  

Well, then I ended up working for a hotel in Colorado.  It was rare for me to use the company van, but one day I had to take some luggage over to another hotel and it was running on fumes. So I signed for the gas at the gas station we used as Melvin Cruddy.  I don't know why.  Then, I started signing Melvin Cruddy whenever I accepted luggage deliveries (the airlines often misplace luggage and then would send it by messenger since we were  very far from the airport).  Credit card refund form for customers--Melvin Cruddy.  Not once did anyone ever ask "Who the hell is this Melvin Cruddy?"

I'm not sure where this name came from. Benny Hill had some sketch character called Mervyn Cruddy as I recall.  But I'm not sure where Melvin came from in the bizarro world inside my head. I do know this, no one has ever questioned why Melvin Cruddy was signing stuff when we had no such employee. If I had to send FedEx, the employee name was Melvin Cruddy on the form at the hotel. 

I don't know what evil force made me sign Melvin to so many forms. Maybe it's just the stupidity of so many meaningless forms in the world.  Then I retired and moved to Arizona. Last weekend I went to the gun range.  Melvin signed in on the sign in sheet. At least Melvin has never signed for a credit card purchase--not yet anyway.

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