Hmm, crash of financial markets, pandemic virus..
Things could be worse. They still have stale doughnuts at the local convenience store. Sure they're running out of toilet paper at the stores, but you can always use some leaves--just stay clear of poison ivy. And there's no need to get down on the food shortages; most doctors think people could stand to lose a few pounds anyway. Before we know it, there will be some asteroid hurling toward us and we'll have all forgotten that stupid old virus.