Thursday, July 30, 2020

he's back!

When I was about two my grandmother took away my favorite toy, a small stuffed tiger as she wanted a souvenir.  And that was that.  There’s a baby picture of me playing with it, but the tiger was gone.  Then, grandma had to go away to a home.  At some point, presumably when they took that dreadful woman away, the tiger must’ve returned.  But no one bothered to tell me. My mom never said a word about it. Then she died. So, last week when my dad died, I was going through a chest of drawers. Underneath some bedding was Bookey.  I hadn’t seen him for 60 years and he’d been sitting in a drawer two miles from my house.  Bookey is back at my house now. 

storage

There are so many dead bodies in New York they're putting them in cold storage trucks.  They can't bury them fast enough.  I had this strange image in my head of bodies on hooks in the meat department at the supermarket.  In Arizona those bodies would be ripe really fast in our heat. Another thought is Soylent Green. They take people and re-purpose them into a paste for people to eat.  That would solve the dead body storage problem. "Honey, I made Soylent Green loaf.  I got the recipe on the Internet."  No more storage problems for dead bodies.  Trust in science fiction to solve earth's problems. Soylent Green starred Charton Heston and came out around 1971 as I recall.


Monday, July 27, 2020

Don't be sarcastic

Here's great news.  Mortuary and crematoriums are jammed with bodies and struggling to keep up because there are so many COVID19 patients kicking off.    

Saturday, July 25, 2020

Don't answer the phone

Yesterday was quite a day.  When the phone rings at 4 am, don't answer it.  Throw the phone in the goldfish bowl and go back to sleep.   Yesterday was my birthday. But I knew immediately what the call was for and it had nothing to do with my birthday.  It was a nurse from hospice calling.  My father's health had been declining. I was able to  get in to see him just last Thursday, since the Copid rules did not allow visitors. Hospice was able to get me in there.  Dad had deteriorated an amazing amount. I hardly recognized him.

So when the phone rang the next day at 4 am I knew what it was.  The fact is, the hospice nurse was very nice.  Then I had to decide if I should call my brother or wait until a more sensible hour, I opted to go ahead and call.  I got my brother's wife (sister-in-law). She thought that was a heck of a birthday present.

So, that set a lot of things in motion: a meeting at the mortuary, a call to my dad's pastor, a few calls to relatives and family friends.   

Finally, at the end of the day, my brother treated my to some Chinese take out.  Uh dad, this was one birthday present I'll never forget.

R.I. P



Friday, July 24, 2020

Floating cars

Whilst I was driving yesterday, I discovered that I was flooded in and both exits from my neighborhood were flooded.  Well, I hit the gas and plowed on through the water. That worked for a few puddles, then I hit a deep one and discovered I was driving a boat. My car was floating. Then, thankfully, my tires caught a hold of the pavement and pulled me out of the water. 

Thursday, July 23, 2020

w/hat if?

What if the re-imposed a quarantine and sent drones out to enforce it?  Sounds like a Science Fiction plot, but it might not be.  They could load shotgun shells on the drone and if it finds you outside it shoots you. Nothing says loving like double aught buckshot. 

Speaking of quarantine, where the heck is all the ketchup?  The store was nearly out of ketchup yet again.  And they never have  iced tea anymore.   

Monday, July 20, 2020

Monsters

Ya know in the world of horror there tends to be certain trends.  Remember a while back there were vampires everywhere?  Anne Rice came along, then other writers all seemed to be doing vampires. Then it seemed like there were zombies everywhere.  I noted as we were reading for Six Guns Straight From Hell 3 that we were seeing one hell of a lot of monsters--far more than I've ever seen on any project I've edited.  I do not know if that is an indicator of an emerging trend or there just were a lot of monsters sent in.  I guess we'll see.  But folks will get a look at some monsters when Six Guns comes out.

On another trend, we didn't see much in the way of ghosts.  That's not really a trend. I never get many ghosts, even though ghost stories are my personal favorite type of horror.  I've long believed our British friends like ghost stories better than Americans.  /but western ghost stories simply do not come along very often.   

Sunday, July 19, 2020

readin'

If you're looking for some great deals on ebooks, the folks at Hadrosaur Productions and Smashwords are having a sale with great prices on some great books. They have anthologies and all sorts of ripping good stuff.  Buy a couple hundred books today. You'll be glad you did.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1005851


Saturday, July 18, 2020

Strange Good Fortune

I was reading on a social media site that someone I know got a curry dinner as one of those food places screwed up.  I  have never gotten a free meal out of the boom toward home delivery.  Apparently, it's not all that rare.

Around last Christmas someone dumped a bunch of boxes of Amazon Prime on a nearby street--just dumped the boxes. There were eight of them. I wondered what was in the boxes.  They were just sitting in a ditch.  I took them and drove around the neighborhood and delivered them.  Hell, I don't even like Amazon.  But I didn't want some kid not to get his Tonka dump trunk.  Okay, one of the boxes was opened at one end.    I played with Tonka trucks.  

So, Dominoes delivered to my neighbor's house Thursday.  This is a snowbird house. There's no one living there.  I debated whether to take it in.  I didn't.  It's still sitting on their porch 24 hours later.  No free food for me.  But I could've  eaten pizza while playing with a Tonka truck if I wasn't such a goodie two shoes. 

Update: 48 hours later, the pizza box is still there.  The coyotes opened it, but didn't take the pizza. That's a testament to Dominoes, I guess.  I threw it in the trash.

Friday, July 17, 2020

rewards

I was going on about not having Green Stamps anymore. No one knew what I was talking about. They were the original rewards program. Stores gave you stamps based on what you spent. When you had enough, you filled up a stamp book. And with a few books you went to a "store" and could redeem your stamps for merchandise. My grandmother loved them. I remember we went once and got a coffee pot. There were Green Stamps and a competitor, Plaid Stamps. Now, no one has any idea what I'm talking about.

Thursday, July 16, 2020

a tough business

Got a few royalty reports in.  It's kind of disappointing.  Of course, with huge unemployment and many bookstores that were forced to close, it could be worse.  The matter was further compounded by the fact that most of the cons have folded [or cancelled or whatever you want to call it]. It's a tough business.

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

If he catches you...

There's a cartoon character who spends a lot of time tormenting Wile E. Coyote.  Fortunately, ACME has given the coyote rather generous credit terms on anvils and balloons and explosives.  The thing is, why doesn't the coyote simply order those boxes of gourmet food.  In a few days he could be feasting on trout and pheasant--all sorts of things.  But no, it's the bird that haunts his dreams he wants to kill.

And so, the chase goes on.  The thing is, they're not very big.  There was a Road   Runner right out in my front yard yesterday.  

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Dry cleaning

Do superheroes have to get their costumes dry cleaned?  If they did, doesn't that endanger their secret identity?

Monday, July 13, 2020

hot foot

Ah, living in Arizona.  Yesterday I wanted to change the light on my yard light. The thing was, I wasn't wearing any shoes. When I stepped out onto my driveway I discovered that fact. Concrete, when it's 110 degrees is not pleasant to walk on barefoot.  I was amazed I was that stupid.  

Thursday, July 9, 2020

at least there's ketchup

Well, we've got a staggering unemployment problem, a coin shortage, a super high rate of Corona virus, and the price of food at restaurants is skyrocketing because of the extra cleaning and stuff.  But the grocery store does now have ketchup.  Ketchup makes life bearable.  Although I saw someone put ketchup on a hot dog the other day. Now that is truly an abomination.

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

money

Yesterday I was lamenting the coin shortage which I blame on the banks which are refusing to open their lobbies.  If Burger King can open to the public I don't see why the banks can't.  I think they're using it as an excuse to force everyone to use ATM or those virtual tellers and that's been their wet dream for years--not to actually deal with customers.

So, I was in this coin store on Monday. This place also handles foreign currency.  Some lady wanted to convert her Mexican currency.  They only offered her half of the face value.  They said they can't get rid if it, the border is essentially closed and there aren't any flights and there is nowhere for it to go, so it is worthless until banks start trading again.  Sounds like a hose job to me.

I used to like banks.  Their marble lobbies and people doing all sorts of transactions concerning the commerce of the world.  Now, the door is locked and a bank is simply a website.  

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

coinage

Yes,  we have no coins, we no coins today.  The list of shortages just continues to grow. The sore was out of ketchup the other day.  Now stores are pleading for people to use debit cards as they don't have any coins to make change.  All the banks have shut down their lobbies, sissies that they are and businesses with coins can't deposit them and those needing coins can't get them.Haven't seen so many shortages.  

Sunday, July 5, 2020

Coin of the Realm

Apparently there's a coin shortage developing. The local banks all closed their lobbies and are forcing everyone to use drive up tellers or ATM's. These options don't take coins.  Ergo, businesses with too many coins can't get rid of them and places with too few can't get them.  Thank you COPID 19, you're such a fun virus.

I shouldn't have made fun of the guy living in the bunker.

Saturday, July 4, 2020

Blast From the Past

Someone from my grad school days at Oregon contacted me a few days ago. Said he'd been trying for years. Well, I have this blog and a Facebook page. I come up on Google. Couldn't have been trying that hard.  It's easy to lose touch with people.  It was nice to catch up. 

Friday, July 3, 2020

So it begins

Now comes the part of publishing stuff I hate.  We've got 15 writers who have 15 views of how things should proceed.  It's no wonder publishers all carry guns.  Well I've withdrawn the contracts of two writers. I wonder how many more it will be.  Hopefully, no more.  

One pet peeve is the ignorance around copyrights.  Didja know with a collective work such as a serial or anthology where you have multiple authors, a single notice such as one with the publisher's copyright notice was "deemed sufficient" starting with the copyright act of 1976. It went into effect in 1978, that's 42 years ago.  Yet look at anthologies and how many of them have a long list of copyright notices--it's monkey see, monkey do.  Then, the US signed the Berne Copyright Treaty. That one made use of copyright notice completely unnecessary. Yet, they still keep listing all these copyright notices in anthologies.Monkey see, monkey do.  

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Coming Soon

Six Guns Straight From Hell 3, edited by David B. Riley and J. A. Campbell

Saddle up for a wild ride through the weird, weird west. As you ride our trails you’ll want to keep one eye on the path ahead and one over your shoulder cause there’s a bushwhacking monster creeping up behind you.  If your horse gets eaten by a monster, you might be able to get a ride on the midnight train, as long as you don’t mind sitting with ghosts.  If you don’t catch the train, maybe the devil can give you a lift back to town. Just be careful which place you head for, because the folks in one town are about to die.  Staying on ranches ain’t much safer, especially at one girl’s birthday party. Then again, even going to outhouses can be deadly. If you happen to visit the local brothel, be sure and treat the ladies right or you’ll pay dearly. And Tombstone is no place to get your picture taken if you want to keep your skin.